Overview: Last Day Of School

Okay... so it may be a little late for an overview.... but I was busy so might as well do this now. And Lauren H., I gave you the opportunity to laugh.... you should have taken it. I wouldn't have minded.... Well, anyway so umm.... well just to tell you guys who don't know what the hell is going on, It happened when I went to school early and I overheard some people say that Mr. Deer was moving back to Korea for five years then there I was, practically running to the restroom and crying my eyes out. After like five minutes I fixed my make-up, which I'm getting better at since it didn't look like I was even crying, and tried to find a place for some alone time until Emily and Lauren comforted me (at different times). Later I made a promise that I'll never will fall for someone ever again (and without cats nor any other pets Manaal). Moments after with my head down in sorrow, Lauren calls on me while with her BF and I turn around seeing Lauren pointing with her thumb toward Mr. Deer walking aimlessly down the hall. I felt happy, freaked out, relieved, and confused so I fast walked toward the bathroom to clean out my mixed emotion frenzy. The moment I saw him was like a really hard BS (I forgot what it was Angie so I don't mix that up with bull shit) and fireworks. In Lauren's mind was when I turned around, I run up to him and give him a hug (?) and say that I was glad that he didn't leave yet (??), or something like that. That would be something coming from Lauren's colorful imagination....




Well for one thing I'm still confused. IS HE MOVING BACK TO KOREA OR NOT! Because if he is then I may have to keep that promise. I can never keep a long distance crush, love thingy because at the end it will always end in a heartbreak, unless you now that person truly loves you. He was my actual first crush, besides that other one because for 1.) it was a phase and 2.) I could have been lying to myself if you know what I mean. This is going to sound weird, but he's was my first crush and the first that I've actually fallen in love with (I hated to admit that). So Lauren, maybe I wanted to do what you said, but maybe even beg him not to leave. I don't think I can let him go. I just hope he's happy one day in a world where I don't need to exist. So I'll get pour my heart out here because this took me a day to think about.




And if somehow he ever reads this, I'd like to tell him this, I forgot to tell you goodbye, I'll miss you, and I hope you'll be happy because I know that there's someone out there that will love you better than I do. All I need to do is tell you is how I feel. So here I go.... I love you.... And that's probably not enough to describe my feelings. And I don't think you owe me that hug anymore.... All I needed was for you to know how I feel. At first I thought I could express that through a hug, but no. All I had to do was tell you. So once again, 사랑해 (Sa-Rang-He). I hope I used the right term because I usually get to mixed up with 사랑해요 (Sa-Rang-He-Yo) which I think is what you say to family members and friends...




Well anyway I just hope you're happy people! I admitted something that I couldn't before! So you know my deepest, darkest secret now (with the exception of Lauren). H.A.A.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The very emotional, 

Lauren A. <3